Easter

Lorna's school has the week before and the week after Easter off. In years past, we all go out to California where spring has already sprung to celebrate Easter with Poppa and Gima (Grandpa and Grandma), but I'm not sure I'm ready to take this show on the road.

We seem to be the only school with this schedule and that leaves the museums and zoo virtually ours alone. Many of Lorna's friends are away, so Poppa and Gima came to visit us! Even though the weather was not cooperating and the kids all had bad colds, we still had a nice time. What is it with vacation and sickness this year!? Both Kai and Lucy ended up with ear infections on the tail end of the sickness that required antibiotics. They were at their crispiest for their grandparents, but it seems everyone was still enamored with one another.

Baby Charlie

A few weeks ago now, I got to go and meet my niece, Charlie (Charlotte)...without my own children. She was just 6 weeks old and Oh! what a feeling to hold a newborn. (With the added bonus of not lactating and being able to sleep full nights.) I wanted to come and help, but realized quickly that there's a limited amount you can do to help when the newborn is nursing 24/7.

I loved to see my big sister transformed into a doting and wonderful mother, a role she is obviously very well-suited for. Tim was also a natural and was already wrapped around those tiny little fingers. I too am smitten and feel so lucky to watch her grow up!

Here are some fun photos and a few shots of Tahoe's epic snow year!

Wanting to be a baby

The more time I spend with Lucy, I intuit the lack the lack of opportunity she had to be a baby. All the books, suggest that children will revert for a time when they are home and slowly go through all the developmental stages. Lucy didn't seem to do this in the beginning, but she does now. She doesn't seem to be following chronological order and I often catch myself thinking, "this is a cooky request, she's almost four." But I indulge and assume that she's being her own occupational therapist.

It started with her need to touch everything and be held constantly. With her amazing verbal abilities, sometimes she can tell me exactly what she wants. She wants to "be a baby", so I swaddle her, rock her like a baby, stroke her face and stare into her eyes just like we do with all babes. She LOVES it! I recently put together a bag of varied textured papers, which she loves to touch. She also does the early toddler thing of taking things out and putting things back. She sometimes asks for a bottle! I've saved a few bottles and fill one with water and let her curl up into my arms.

Tonight, I put her on my chest and laid in the dark room and just let her rise and fall with my breathing, remembering that that can help newborns learn to take deeper breaths and to calm their nerves. It all sounds obvious, but not when most of the time she acts like a perfectly typical 3.75 year old. Her body just melted and her normal fidgeting stopped. I even felt her breathing turn longer and deeper. I've got to remind myself to do this more often. And it's lovely for me too!

Lately, I've been re-reading those baby and toddler books to remind myself of all those good early activities. Sometimes, when she starts acting over-stimulated I ask her to feel the carpet. And lo and behold she calms down! Anyone have any other suggestions of how to help her revert?

Other times, she'll see baby photos of Kai or Lorna and tell me that the baby is actually Lucy. I don't correct her - for now she needs to write her own history in her own way.

Mother - Daughter Project

Back in October an old friend from Nederland contacted me to see if I wanted to partake in a “Mother-Daughter group” based on the book The Mother Daughter Project. I love Deb …and my daughter so I came to the first meeting and realized that I was signing up for a ten year commitment. At first I was daunted, but after meeting the other moms and hearing about the “project” I couldn’t pass it up.
The project is based on the experiences of a group set up in Berkeley about 15 years ago of 5-7 mothers and daughters. All the daughters came from different schools, but were all of similar ages. At first the group starts out as moms getting together once a month to brainstorm and problem solve the raising of daughters. In our case this is done with dinner and wine, varied perspectives, laughter and compassion. The moms consist of me a SAHM, a neurologist, occupational therapist, preschool teacher, and a family practice doctor.
Then the daughters start meeting with the moms to simply have fun and be girls for another once monthly meeting. As they get older, we hope to start talking about such topics as friendships, body image, boys (gulp), or any other topics that start arising for them. With all the girls at different schools, it can be a safe place to explore their questions, successes and fears. What the Berkeley group found was that their daughters came through adolescence relatively unscathed and with more confidence and tools than their peers. The statistics are staggering: 1 in 3 girls will be molested before 18, 1in 3 will have an eating disorder, drug or alcohol issues, or other problems. If I can do anything to help Lorna through those years, sign me up!
The moms have been meeting for the past 5 months and just recently we got the girls together for ice-skating, and snacks and cocoa at Deb’s house. We were so happy at how they all clicked! Check it out! Our next outing is swimming and pizza. Other ideas for this year are a theater performance, camping, and volunteering at a soup kitchen.