Magical Images

Yet another week of camp for Lorna. This one was called "Magical Images" through a local outdoor education school. The children learned to notice nature through the eyes of a photographer. Each afternoon, we looked at the photos she had taken that day on my computer, using terms like "rule of thirds" and "framing" and "layering effects". Mind-boggling. I love what she captured and to glimpse her "lens".

There is no end to the cool camps offered in the summers here in Boulder. We have one left - an art camp at her friend Isabel's school. (Isabel is her best friend since just 6 months of age and who attends a regular public school.) It will be great to spend time in Isabel's world and see where she spends her days.

Although they don't go to school together, these summer camps have been a great way for them to spend time together and Carolee and I share in the driving and extended play dates

July 5

(I meant to post this earlier but didn't)

(The new photographer on the scene is Lorna! She has been learning to take pictures with my old digital camera and I love what she captures.)

July 5th is a day to celebrate in our home but on this day somewhere there is a woman who must be remembering her beautiful daughter that she brought into this world. I think of Lucy's birthmom often, but today especially I know that we are both wondering/ worrying about the other. I can't imagine birthing this gift of a child and knowing or worrying that I might have to give her up for adoption.

The reasons that Chinese families give up their girls is more complex than just a cultural gender preference. In a world without retirement plans, families must have a son. A daughter in China moves to her husband's family and contributes to only his family, so parents who farm or who are poor have no means to support themselves in old age. This is starting to change in the cities where the parents could work for a company that offers pensions. The government is starting to push for that. The other big factors are the in-laws: they are usually the decision makers for giving up the child or not. Usually the mothers have very little power over what happens to their daughters and infanticide is still a big issue.

We will never know what the circumstances were surrounding Lucy's abandonment at one month, but because she was placed in a high traffic park and had her birthdate pinned to her blanket I believe she was loved and that the loss was felt deeply by the mother, if not the whole family. I hope that birth mom feels peace and secure that Lucy has found a loving home. But on this day and perhaps all July 5's, I will also feel such empathy and know that today, we are both wondering and sending love to one another.

Glimpse of things to come!

The week of June 27, I had all three kids in camp from 8:30 to 12:30. It was strange to have that much time to myself and I had grand illusions of all that I would accomplish. But I did finally have a mammogram, see the dentist, and a development summary meeting on Lucy (more on that later) walk the dogs, clean out their rooms, and just sit in my quiet house. I also gave myself time to just sit in a coffee shop and write / type, a luxury I've been thinking of for many years.

It was a glimpse of things to come - next year (7 weeks from now) they will all be in school 3 days a week from 9-2 and Lorna will be in school 5 days a week from 8:30 - 3. It is such a bittersweet feeling to watch them spread their wings and venture further and farther from my nest. I am glad that I kept Lucy home with me this year and Lorna in just a half day kindergarten. We've all bonded. Lucy has learned to feel safe at home and still have the young stay at home experience that Lorna and Kai have had - gymnastics, music together, library story time, parks, play dates, etc. And both Lucy and Kai (especially Lucy) are now very ready for school. Better older than younger for school and academics, I believe.

I am in mile 25 of the marathon and am making the most of each day with these precious children in this most amazing chapter of our lives.

Happy Birthdays

We are operating in a very short window of time when we can control how and when they celebrate their birthdays. Will had an unavoidable business trip on the night of July 5 so we just told them that they both had a birthday on July 4. No one seemed to argue or contend that fact. (One could argue that with the international dateline, Lucy's birthday is July 4 when celebrated in Colorado...if we had to get technical.)

Will got to have the day off and we went to the pool. The club pool was having a 4th of July party complete with a band, water ballon contests and treats. They simply thought that this was part of their day - even strangers were getting in on the scene! After rest time, just Tenzin and Elizabeth, Lucy's godparents; Kathy Dragon; and the Buckley/Hunter family came to help us celebrate with bbq, watermelon, cake, and "loud but legal" fireworks.