July 5

(I meant to post this earlier but didn't)

(The new photographer on the scene is Lorna! She has been learning to take pictures with my old digital camera and I love what she captures.)

July 5th is a day to celebrate in our home but on this day somewhere there is a woman who must be remembering her beautiful daughter that she brought into this world. I think of Lucy's birthmom often, but today especially I know that we are both wondering/ worrying about the other. I can't imagine birthing this gift of a child and knowing or worrying that I might have to give her up for adoption.

The reasons that Chinese families give up their girls is more complex than just a cultural gender preference. In a world without retirement plans, families must have a son. A daughter in China moves to her husband's family and contributes to only his family, so parents who farm or who are poor have no means to support themselves in old age. This is starting to change in the cities where the parents could work for a company that offers pensions. The government is starting to push for that. The other big factors are the in-laws: they are usually the decision makers for giving up the child or not. Usually the mothers have very little power over what happens to their daughters and infanticide is still a big issue.

We will never know what the circumstances were surrounding Lucy's abandonment at one month, but because she was placed in a high traffic park and had her birthdate pinned to her blanket I believe she was loved and that the loss was felt deeply by the mother, if not the whole family. I hope that birth mom feels peace and secure that Lucy has found a loving home. But on this day and perhaps all July 5's, I will also feel such empathy and know that today, we are both wondering and sending love to one another.