Christmas Eve

This Christmas has found me in the spirit! We've really decked the halls this year and have lit the advent wreath and sung carols by the tree before bed each night. Lucy seems to understand that Santa Claus will come, Rudolph will lead the way, and you had better be nice. Today, she pointed to the lollipop container (usually reserved for fingernail cutting day) and said, "sugar plums danced in their heads." Boy, is she bright! Kai thinks our neighbor Fergus is Santa, (he does kind of look like him) and will be excited by all that Santa will bring. Lorna is just giddy with excitement even though she had some kind of tummy bug today. It brings back all the magic of the season that I felt as a child. She keeps asking if she's been good enough this year. I keep saying that if I were Santa, I would definitely bring her lots of loot.

Will has been working like crazy and came home at about 4pm today to crash. He is up now assembling the last of Santa's gifts. She children are nestled all snug in their beds and this year, it all feels so complete and perfect.

Merry Christmas!

Extended Family

Before I had kids, I never considered the richness that babysitters would bring to my family’s life. Living far from family, it can become a very insulated family life. I worry about my kids growing up believing that the circle of people who love them is very small. My children are so lucky to have an ever-widening circle of people who love them. When It was just Lorna, we could get away with babysitting swaps and the occasional sitter in the evening. Then we brought our favorite sitter, Jessie, with us when we took a trip to the Caribbean with 4 month-old Kai. She happily spent hours with Lorna in the pool and allowed Will and myself to actually spend some time together and Kai to have quiet nap time. But mostly, she is such a wonderful person and could add much to Lorna’s world. I started feeling more comfortable having more childcare help in my world.I also have “issues” with employing help. I now have three children, run two rental properties and have a husband who works long hours and travels a lot. But somehow I feel like I should be able to do it all. I also feel self-conscious that we can afford it.

Then we met Melanie, who first started coming when I was pregnant with Kai, then one afternoon a week for Mommy to have alone time. She and Lorna had so much fun together doing things that don’t come as naturally to me – coloring Disney princesses, painting fingernails, etc. She came on some trips with us and helped Will and I have more time together. Melanie lived with us when she was between living situations and we all adore her. Melanie and I really bonded during our car trip from Boulder to Tahoe. I think instead of “Queer Eye for the Straight Guy”, there should also be hip college student for the stay at home mom. She helped me get on facebook, even told me that it was “cute” that people my age did facebook, introduced me to new music and the latest fashion trends. Melanie just left for the Peace Corps in the Ukraine, and although I miss her dearly I am so glad to read about her grand adventures and know that she will always be in our lives.

And now we have Kelsey who has also been adopted as a family member. She was sitting for us 2 afternoons a week when we decided to adopt Lucy. When we didn’t know if we were facing a summer of medical appointments, decided that we would ask Kelsey to start full-time with us for the summer. She also helps me with the management of the rentals. Now she’s with us for 24 hours a week and I’m not sure what I’d do without her. Yesterday, Lorna and I came home from the park and Kelsey had “fancy nancy hair salon” remnants in her dreadlocks and had the kids fingerpainting outside. Sometimes she does yoga with them or plays her banjo. She’s even teaching Lorna to play the violin!

Now I know that babysitters can enhance all of our lives. It was the control-freak in me that resisted having more help. All of us love Kelsey and I am a better mom to my kids for having a breather and sitting in a coffee shop with a latte and laptop, like right now. Will and I are a stronger couple because we can finish a conversation and have some experiences that don’t involve the kids. I can have one – on-one time with each kid and we all are better people for having known these great young women. Next fall, Lucy and Kai will have preschool three mornings a week and Lorna will be in school until 3, so again, it’s a short time to have this luxury.

Six Months!

Lucy has been living with us for six months as of today, December 5. To celebrate, I got gobs of take out Chinese food for all of us. Her fortune cookie read, "Your greatest traits are your courage and eagerness." How true that cookie is! She astounds me sometimes with both her courage and eagerness. She loves going to mom-tot gymnastics and so many so many new tasks she has been asked to do, she did with caution the first day and now she is fearless, enthusiastic and very successful - like jumping on a trampoline or into a foam pit or even swinging on a trapeze. Even her understanding of the teacher's words were limited, but now she's raising her hand when asked for volunteers to go first, or explaining to a boy that he has cut in line.

Her English is 80% of what Lorna's was at the same age. Yesterday, she asked, "did you like that, mommy?" Now, the ESL teacher in me recognizes her ability to use helping verbs to form a question - very advanced, the ability to put the question into the past tense and the social ability to ask someone's preferences. She knows the abc song, can sing twinkle, twinkle, can count and is starting to recognize letters. On the flip side, her Chinese is vanishing. We've started listening to some Chinese language tapes while driving around town. Every once in a while she will repeat after the tape with obvious fluency and perfect mandarin tones, but mostly it's Kai who's most vocal in the back seat. (Lorna says it's too hard, but I gotta say that Kai is pretty good!) I'd love to try to find a kid-friendly Mandarin tutor, but will watch how it affects her emotionally. I just want her to keep some of her birth culture if she's up for it too!

But the biggest change for Miss Lucy has probably been to adjust to living with a family. She knows how to be heard - that's a polite way of saying that she can be a very loud 25 pounds - but she must have had to be pretty scrappy in the orphanage. She sometimes comes to me whining and I ask what she needs, she now say's, "just lovin', momma." That I can do! She's been easy to fall in love with. We are so lucky!

Some things I've learned along the way

On November 13, We had a wonderful Baby Shower for my sister, Daisy, in Half Moon Bay. I took a 6am flight out of Denver and was only in SF for nine hours. It was actually luxurious to have so much alone time and then time with friends and family at the shower. This is something I wrote for her compiled folder of inspiration / advice. And some out takes for the elusive Christmas card photo! It is tricky to get a good shot of each of them, in clean clothes, without a runny nose.

Some things Anni has learned along the way

• Get a baby sitter
• Your baby chose you and has great lessons for you
• Frozen blueberries in a mesh bag are the best for teething
• Your child will act up the most around people who judge them the most
• To-do lists and dust bunnies will always be there; these special days will not
• Having a child is like first falling in love, except it never wears off
• In fact, every day gets better
• Keep gum in the car in case you realize you forgot to brush your own teeth
• Wear white in the first 6 months – no one will notice the spit-up
• As “parenting” has become a common verb, there are myriad philosophies and ways to feel guilty. Trust your gut and trust that others have followed theirs.
• If you ever feel like you suck at mothering, watch Supernanny with a glass of wine and realize that you’re doing a really good job!
• Take pictures. Take video.
• Your baby will always enjoy your singing, no matter what the tone.
• Hang out with other new moms. You will want to talk on and on about your baby and others in your same place will want to listen on and on.
• If it ever gets overwhelming, come to Boulder. We will all pitch in, tell you that you’re an amazing mom, let you sleep and feed you.

Halloween

Some of my fondest childhood memories involved creating. I remember deciding what to be for Halloween with my mom, going to the fabric store, finding a pattern, choosing fabrics, and watching mom sew. With my family now complete, I felt drawn to recreate this for my own kids. I had a blast and many childhood flashbacks. Here are the results: one indian princess, one ladybug and one fireman (thanks Claire for the hand me up! Didn't make Kai's). We went to Lorna's Halloween parade on Friday morning and wore costumes the rest of the day. Sunday we went to another event at Lorna's school, then home to trick or treat!

Lorna turns 6!

How did this happen? I held Lorna on the morning of her birthday and rocked her like a baby as I do most mornings. But this morning I tried to remember what it felt like to hold her when she was just born. She was 3 lbs., 15oz. and we were separated for the first three weeks by the NICU. The anxiety of being away from her would melt into hormone induced bliss when she was in my arms. How did that tiny little being blossom into this strong, confident, happy, little girl?

With all Lorna’s changes this year, my father said, “we need to make a big deal about her birthday this year!” So Dad, Val, and Aunt Daisy all flew into town for the party with her 6 friends. We rented out the Carousel of Happiness up in Nederland for our own private use on Saturday morning. Scott, the creator, mc’d the event, even slowing down the carousel for a happy birthday group sing. After our hour was up, we walked to our favorite Nepalese restaurant for the kids to eat at the buffet followed by cake and presents.

For Lorna’s actual birthday on Wednesday, she awoke to balloons on her floor, and a stack of blueberry pancakes with a candle in it. They did a wonderful celebration for Lorna at Kindergarten. Lorna got to wear and cape and crown and sit on a throne while Will, myself and Lorna’s teacher spun a web of stories about Lorna’s life with candle lighting and crossing rainbow bridges and all sorts of other magical happenings. Lorna was beaming! I picked Lorna up from school and she chose Chinese food for lunch. After lunch we brought a blanket to the park, sat under a crimson tree, and read two Shel Silverstein books. Then Lorna got to play in the park as long as she wanted with no little siblings needing my attention or controlling the schedule. We had a quiet pizza and beet dinner with just the 5 of us followed by presents. Top billing were her roller skates and teepee. And so begins her seventh year!

Tooth Fairy’s visit!

Lorna lost her first two teeth on the same night. They have been loose for about a month and finally came out on Wednesday night while Mommy had her book club over. A whole table full of moms ready to ooh and aah over lost teeth was enough to get them both out. Lorna decided that she wasn’t ready to part with them quite yet, so we put a notice on the door for the tooth fairy to wait one more night. Then another night.

Pasang, who visiting from Nepal, found this tooth fairy custom intriguing but I failed to warn him about the teeth being saved in the cup on the table. Pasang, being the kind and helpful houseguest, rounded up all the dishes to wash them. Lorna was beside herself – wailing and howling! Pasang was trying to comfort her and saying sorry sorry over and over as I was searching around with my hand in the garbage disposal, wondering how to dismantle the thing.

Actually, it turns out that the tooth fairy had to take the teeth … before the cup was washed because there was a baby girl in Zimbabwe who needed a set of matching teeth to start eating. The tooth fairy left two gold dollars and in her note, promised that she could keep the next tooth she lost.

Although the tooth fairy exonerated Pasang in her note, Lorna still had a hard time warming up to him for the rest of the visit…

Continuing the Blog / Visitors

At the end of the summer, I started wondering if I should continue the blog. Lucy’s home, settled and adapting so well that it didn’t seem there was anything so noteworthy about our family. A few key family members have made it clear that they enjoy reading the updates and seeing the photos. I also enjoy the writing and reflection time, so here we go!

We have had many visitors in the last month and a half. First Cousin Christian, then dad and val, followed by Will’s mom, Tina, for two weeks. Currently, Pasang is here on his way back home to Nepal. We asked for time before family came to meet Lucy to let us bond as a family. But now, everyone wants to come and meet her – which is great. It seems that the first few days of a visit, Lucy becomes even more clingy to me, but with each successive visitor she seems to relax more quickly.
Before nap time, Lucy and I have a ritual. I tell her ,”you’re safe. You can trust us. I am your mommy forever and Lucy was born in Mommy’s heart. You have a family,” and then we list the ever-widening family members for her. Now Lucy says all these statements independently and lists all the members of her family with a big smile.

Here are some photos of our visitors!

Fire on the mountain!

It's been an intense 48 hours in Boulder. First, as we were leaving the gym at 11 am I saw these photos of the smoke plume coming from the mountains. The strong winds were blowing that smoke right into North Boulder. I kept the windows closed and kept the kids inside. I did go out to pick greens for dinner and had to wipe ash off them. As we went to bed last night, there was an orange glow off in the distance - very eery.

Tuesday morning again was very smokey and my throat felt like I'd spent a long night in a bar (at least I'm going from memory of how that felt.) There are many families we know who have been evacuated and most likely have lost their homes. It's very sad.

About mid-day today the smoke began to clear and we again had blue skies. With all the fire-fighting planes overhead, I assumed they finally had a handle on the fire. But when I checked the websites, it seemed the opposite. The fire had doubled in size, the winds had shifted bringing the smoke clouds north into Lyons and still 0% containment. 92 homes had been lost and the evacuation area growing to include our house in Nederland! I'm fairly certain that the house is safe, but power has been cut off now for 2 days and there is a spot fire burning not too far from the house. The good news is that everything of sentimental value has been moved already.

They have forecast the winds to pick up again on Thursday so we're hoping they can get a handle on it tomorrow.

Cousin Christian's visit

When I told Lorna that we would have a nun staying with us for a week, she had images of skipping through the foothills singing "do-re-mi". Cousin Christian, aka Sister Igna, broke all stereotypes of Catholic nuns I ever had. She is my father's first cousin who grew up in England, was ordained at 22, and has lived in Zimbabwe and worked as a teacher ever since. As I got to know her and looked at her photos, it seems she has lived her life as a full-time Peace Corps Volunteer. She has photos of digging the latrines at her rural school, sisters playing soccer with the students and orphans she has helped to raise. Truly inspiring.

While she was here, we got her to daily noon mass. Lorna went with her all but one of those days. She LOVED it and learned all kinds of new facts about Christianity and her relative, Elizabeth Fry. When we were driving home from the airport, Lorna had already asked her, "what's it like being a nun?" Lorna was in awe. Lucy and Kai were won over very quickly and gave her hugs and kisses each night before bed.

Christian is totally approachable, ready for dancing, great with the kids and a peaceful presence. She wanted to learn as much as she could about Tibetans and Buddhism as well as genetically modified seeds and "the future of food". Will gave her loads of books. We learned so much about Zimbabwe, Africa's orphan crisis and life in a convent.

While she was here we had gatherings of family and friends, a visit from the fire truck, explored a beautiful chapel and Catholic center on the Peak to Peak highway, rode on the Carousel, hide and go seek games in the yard, puzzles, swimming, visited Pearl Street, etc., and even went to birthday party in Nederland.

When we gave our thanks the night after Christian left, Lorna said that she was so happy to have people she loves all over the world. We were all so sad to see her go, but gave us reason to fantasize about a family trip to Africa some day.

Firetrucks

Kai's pronunciation is fast improving although there are still some struggles. For example he can say "truck" just fine but when other descriptions are added to truck the "tr" turns into an "f". For example, a garbage truck is a "_ucky _uck" and a dump truck is a "_uck _uck" Like most boys his age, he is excited by such vehicles and comments on them many times a day. When Sister Igna was staying with us last week (more on this later), he would often pick up his garbage trucks and tell her what they were. Over and over. Finally the benevolent nun taught him the British word for truck, which is lorry. I guess it was a good compromise.

Last Thursday we had some big excitement on Orchard Avenue! As we were all watching the yard, a gust of wind caused a crack!, zzz! and as the limb hit the power line in the back yard there were some explosions and shooting flames through the tree and into the air. I ran to my cell to call 9-1-1 but as I was talking to them, the excitement seemed to be over and we were left without power, but unscathed. They decided to send the fire department over to make sure all was ok. OH BOY! The kids were all so excited to see the fucky fuck pull up in front of the house with its lights flashing and 3 fire people came out.

After they saw the situation was safe, they asked if the kids wanted some pictures, stickers, hats and a look at the truck. Kai was in awe - just quiet disbelief. Big day!

Somehow the two month mark has come and gone. It's hard to believe it's only been two months - it feels like she's been with us for much longer.

She is still a dear, confident and sweet girl but I think that the honeymoon is officially over. She is showing some stubbornness and typical three year-old behavior. She was so angelic and easy-going for the first 6/7 weeks and I guess it's good news that she feels comfortable enough to let her guard down. She secretively lets her vitamins fall to the floor, decides which foods she will and will not eat, and has clear preferences over which clothes to wear...all very normal stuff I know, but it's new. She's evolving day to day, week to week. I still think that she'll do some more changes before the "real Lucy" shows up.

It's hard to know how or if we're ready for clear boundaries. She has done some things that I would warrant a "time out" for Lorna, like refusing to sit down in the bath tub or pushing and kicking. I still feel like I want to baby her, but perhaps the fact that she's doing these behaviors means that she's wanting to see where the line is. And Lorna is starting to say, "what's going on here?!" My reactions need to be different but equal - not sure what that means but I'm liking the concept.

Lorna and Lucy have been having some sweet moments. Lorna "reads" to Lucy while I get Kai to sleep and she is learning to offer her hand and wait for Lucy to hold it rather than grabbing her by her shirt and pulling. They played dolls together this afternoon for about an hour and cuddled and giggled while watching a video. There's also a picture here of Lorna's ballet school.

Paradise Kombucha stand

Lorna's trip to the orphanage has had a huge impact on her. She wants to know why so many children still need homes, why their parents had to give them up, why we couldn't bring them all home... While there are logical, rational answers to all these questions, I still, on some level, wonder the same things. Will talks about how excited Lucy's classmates were to have visitors and how sad the kids were when they left. I think Lorna will remember that day forever.

As we lay in bed talking about it one evening, we decided to do what we could. Hence the kombucha, lemonade, zucchini muffin stand. I feel it's so important to honor kids' natural compassion and to help them know they're not powerless.

We decided to give the money to Half the Sky Foundation, a US non-profit that provides and trains extra staffing in select Chinese orphanages. Lucy was a direct beneficiary of their programs. She had a baby book with weekly entries, photos and hand prints from the time she was brought to the orphanage. She also had daily one on one time by a nanny whose salary was paid by Half The Sky. Their mission is to "ensure that each Chinese orphan has a caring adult in their life."

With Kelsey's help, we've been home brewing our own kombucha. What is kombucha? It's a traditional Japanese health drink made from fermented mushrooms. Wow that sounds crazy, but it's all the rage now in Boulder and elsewhere - a huge seller in most Whole Foods. So we got a starter mushroom from a local company that Will knows and Kelsey had the expertise. Voila!

It was very sweet to watch Will give Lorna some business 101 tips - it was their project and they had lists and schemes and plots. I wanted / needed to unload some zucchinis so I volunteered the gluten-free, vegan zucchini muffins to go along with the Boulder cliche. We did also have the traditional lemonade.

We made $193 to give to Half the Sky and all had a wonderful time. Elizabeth helped with the muffins, Kathy helped with signage and our neighbor, Andy, let us use his corner and hauled out a picnic table for us. Most of the customers we knew and most paid much more for their muffins than the posted price. (Free zucchini with extra donation!) Lorna asked if we could do this every day.

Domestic Imperfection

Something about mothering young children makes you want to bake, dust off the sewing machine and own a glue gun. Martha Stewart, I am not. I enjoy watching the urges, but need to be able to laugh at the realities. Kids are young but once and I’d rather have happy kids eating mac n’ cheese than stressed out mommy and kids with handmade clothes and gourmet meals. How many times have I burned rice because someone needs hugs, or a book read. I think my dad once told me that people with very clean cars lead boring lives – at least that makes me feel like a very exciting person…

During the younger kids’ naps, Kelsey and I try to do some creative projects with Lorna. One day, I tried to do a spontaneous gluten-free cake with vegan buttercream frosting (welcome to Boulder) but had to make some substitutions for missing ingredients. I knew that it was a gamble but thought the process with Lorna was more important. The cake fell out of the pans in pieces, so we sculpted the pieces together with the frosting, but that was too runny. So it stated eroding off of Grandma’s fancy cake plate into the waiting bowl. We laughed good belly laughs, spooned some cake-like substance into cereal bowls before throwing “it” into the trash.

Then there was the time I wouldn’t stop trying to get the Katzen bread to work. (I can bake successful bread, that I can do.) But this recipe was failing me. Lorna and I tried three times, but it would start crumbling when I had only worked in half the flour. So we hacked off some dough, put on some “butter” and snacked on that. Those went into the trash too.

I’ve been reading this wonderful book called the “handmade home” for ideas about creativity and projects with young kids. It is inspiring and now I have supplies for many such projects. One of her ideas is to have a meeting in bed with your kids to talk about projects and ideas for the day. On day one, I try this technique with note pad in hand and suggest projects for Lorna. Her response was “can you do that instead Mommy? I would have more fun watching the ‘Snow White’ movie.” Huh. The woman made it sound so easy in the book!

Note the photo with the matching dresses – for a time there were matching pig tails – but Lucy’s melting down. Doh! Sometimes it takes all day to water the four house plants. “What was I just doing?”

So I try to be kind to the maternal domestic urges and patient with the imperfections of my craft.

Officially 40

Can't imagine being in a better place in life at 40. I am living my dream and then some, blessed with wonderful husband and kids, incredible community of friends and family and great health!

The festivities began on Monday night with a farm dinner out at Pastures of Plenty for a very small group of friends. It was very relaxing and the kids all had a great time. Awesome vegan food, right down to the strawberry shortcake!

My actual birthday began snuggled between my two little girls. The kids all got along so nicely this morning. Lorna was "reading" to the little ones and helping them get ready. Then we all trucked up to Nederland to meet Kelsey, do some errands at the house, pick wild flowers, ride the carousel, grab lunch at Kathmandu and head down the canyon. Then Lorna and I had a pedicure which comes with your choice of peanut or plain m&m's. Roy and I had an appointment to check out a suspicious lump on his back - all benign. Thai take out and cards / phone calls in the evening.

Last week I went to buy my regular vitamin pills and right next to them was the new version for 40+..."for mature women's needs". I stood there contemplating the nuances of the crossroads for more than five minutes, circling the aisle to draw less attention to myself. Finally I decided that I would be more mature the next time I needed vitamins.

I think I made a movie of the 24 hours on youtube. Let me know if it actually worked!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Df-CKcwNMGQ

Bonding

When you’re considering adoption, and toddler adoption in particular, you will read all kinds of scary books and essays about bonding. Institutionalized toddlers are at a high risk for not bonding well with their families and I was armed and ready with many strategies. Lucy seems to meet all the criteria for “securely attached” already. We have been very lucky.

What I never thought about was our process bonding to her. I just assumed that would be a no-brainer. As a teacher I always bonded quickly with all my students, warts and all. When I first met Lucy, I found myself laying her on my chest just as one does with a newborn, heart to heart. I searched out her birth marks and moles, examined the shape of her feet, teased out her sense of humor. And she nuzzled up under my chin the way that both my bio kids did as newborns. We were bonding in warp speed.

Today I found myself with three kids in need at the exact same moment. Lucy wanted a hug, Kai had a poopy diaper and Lorna was crying from a stubbed toe. Triage. And then I’m getting analytical by asking myself why I gave the hugs first. Back when we first met Lucy and were still in China, Lucy and Kai wanted the same toy and the end result was Kai getting a swift left hook in the eye. Will immediately came to Kai’s defense, the way a Poppa bear would, “don’t hit my kid!” But then we realized that we also need to be parenting the one who did the hitting, show alternatives and meet her with love too. It’s these knee-jerk reaction times that we’re noticing how we are bonding with Lucy too.

There seems to be a visceral response when one’s own child is crying. When I’m in a group and someone else’s child is crying I am sympathetic, but don’t feel it to the core they way I do when it’s my own child’s distress. Now I’m feeling that gut-wrenching feeling with Lucy too. It’s been fascinating to witness the way that humans bond, how she should be foreign to me in so many ways, but we’re wired to love, bond and care for one another. Motherhood is truly a gift – it exercises and develops the best parts of us.

Happy and Sad

My pediatrician told me that tantrums are a good sign. They mean she's feeling safe and they're "developmentally appropriate". So as gut-wrenching as it is to hear her scream over wanting her way, I remind myself that she's doing exactly what she needs to be doing. It's hard not to want to overcompensate for her years in an orphanage but my instincts are telling me to do what I do / have done with my bio kids. Offer hugs and let them work through their feelings. The last few days I've sat on the floor with a screaming Lucy in my lap and stroked her hair while she calms down. Lucy has learned the words "happy" and "sad". At these times she hugs me, seems to be comforted by me and says "Lucy sad". And then most of the rest of the day and when I'm putting her to sleep, she jumps in for a cuddle and beams while saying "Lucy happy!"

She really is a happy, playful, smart kid and dare I use the word "resilient"? I hesitate because I want her to follow her own unfolding - she can backslide, tantrum, grieve, show anger and push us away. She deserves the time and space to feel into all that's happened to her. And if she doesn't, if she's just a happy kid who can't believe that she landed a loving family in beautiful Boulder then that's allowed too.

I hope this summer gives my kids as many happy memories as it has already given me. This week we've gone to the zoo, swim lessons, more swimming, running through sprinklers, painting and projects, good food and lots of laughter. We really are all bonding more and more each day.

Lorna

Lorna wears her emotions on her sleeve. Full of compassion and talk of angels and fairies, she can also get overwhelmed with her feelings and frustrations. Learning to live with Lucy has had lots of ups and downs for her. In China she was smitten - just couldn't get enough of her, but at some point, Lucy started to put her foot down and assert her own agenda. Lucy and Kai were also forming a close bond. I'm not sure that was in Lorna's vision of having a "baby sister". She had a good month of being annoyed at Lucy's presence and now she has come around to friends. Everyone's fascination with Lucy, arriving gifts and then back to back birthdays were "a learning experience" for Lorna. But the past few days L & L have been playing very well together and laughing, good belly laughs. They are bonding and the ups and downs of sisterhood is great for them both. They are both strong and confident girls.

Lorna had a lot of anxiety about both starting kindergarten and leaving Miss Vicki, her incredible preschool teacher. Lorna was in China on the last day of school so she also missed out on the closure and end of the year rituals to mark her transition. Since we've been home she had one week of horse camp, another four days of dance camp and then I made a spontaneous decision to enroll her at Summer Camp for a week at Shining Mountain, her kindergarten for next year. Luckily for the Paradise household the tears and anxiety about that week were worth it. She had a wonderful time, bonded with her new teacher (shown above) and made some new friends. Whereas before she would sulk and tear up when people asked her about kindergarten, she now beams and tells all about her new school. Phew!!

Kindergarten starts on September 2nd, so between now and then she has 12 half hour swim lessons and then nothing else structured. I can't wait! It's been ...informational... to get three kids up and out the door in the mornings, but now we can find our laid back summer routine and our groove with one another without that added time pressure. She has been practicing some hand sewing / embroidery with some burlap, embroidery ring and a tapestry needle. She's also determined to learn to ride a two-wheeler. Tomorrow I think we'll finally make it to the zoo.

Lorna. She feels life so deeply, loves intensely and has such a strong sense of self - how do I mother her so that she never loses those wonderful traits (that many of us spend our lives trying to develop), while at the same time, get her dressed in the morning, get her grounded enough to glide through life's frustrations? We have so much to learn from one another and although I'm biased, I find Lorna one of the wisest souls I know.