My pediatrician told me that tantrums are a good sign. They mean she's feeling safe and they're "developmentally appropriate". So as gut-wrenching as it is to hear her scream over wanting her way, I remind myself that she's doing exactly what she needs to be doing. It's hard not to want to overcompensate for her years in an orphanage but my instincts are telling me to do what I do / have done with my bio kids. Offer hugs and let them work through their feelings. The last few days I've sat on the floor with a screaming Lucy in my lap and stroked her hair while she calms down. Lucy has learned the words "happy" and "sad". At these times she hugs me, seems to be comforted by me and says "Lucy sad". And then most of the rest of the day and when I'm putting her to sleep, she jumps in for a cuddle and beams while saying "Lucy happy!"
She really is a happy, playful, smart kid and dare I use the word "resilient"? I hesitate because I want her to follow her own unfolding - she can backslide, tantrum, grieve, show anger and push us away. She deserves the time and space to feel into all that's happened to her. And if she doesn't, if she's just a happy kid who can't believe that she landed a loving family in beautiful Boulder then that's allowed too.
I hope this summer gives my kids as many happy memories as it has already given me. This week we've gone to the zoo, swim lessons, more swimming, running through sprinklers, painting and projects, good food and lots of laughter. We really are all bonding more and more each day.
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