Last night we sang Happy Birthday with cupcakes twice for Kai and Lucy and then opened family gifts for them both. (This is a picture of Lorna, Elizabeth and Lucy after receiving barrettes from Gigi.) I was wondering how they did birthdays in the orphanage. She had pretty much learned "Happy Birthday" by the end of the evening and then was singing it in Cantonese (or Mandarin?) I know that she didn't have any personal possessions at the orphanage, so no gifts but perhaps cake and a song? There are so many unknowns. Kai got lots of trucks and fire engine themed gifts and Lucy hit the jackpot - I think we were all trying to make up for lost time and it is so much more fun to shop for a girl. She opened them all and then seemed perhaps over-stimulated as she went from toy to toy. It was just 7:30 and we were trying to keep them all up for fireworks but she started to completely melt down like we've only seen once or twice before.
She cried and I held her and then she was just fine to go back out and read some new books and play quietly with toys. She's becoming more easily comforted - another good sign for attachment. Then she and Will had Cantonese cartoon hour on youtube.
When we first accepted Lucy's referral, I remember praying that she would be with us for her third birthday, that we wouldn't miss another milestone in her life. I wonder if she realized it was her birthday and that we didn't celebrate like they all did in the orphanage. Or perhaps that she is missing a milestone with her old life. I'm sure they had rituals that we'll never know or could duplicate. She's doing so "well" - easily attaching, adapting to her new life - that when she has a meltdown I find myself searching for answers. But really she should be allowed to tantrum and show stress and we all need to learn how to comfort her like we do Lorna and Kai.
Tonight we had a small gathering for Lucy and Kai's birthdays. I was trying hard not to over-stimulate and also wanted to get her interacting with some other 3 year-old girls. She seemed very happy to play with kids her age and made some nice connections. It was a very nice and relaxed evening with good friends, pizza, corn, watermelon, vegan carrot cake from WF and Pedro and Seneca's new gluten-free beers! (Thanks!)
She doesn't yet seem quite herself around larger groups of new people (I guess most of us still aren't) but she is getting better. She definitely wants to know where I am, but is venturing off to interact with others more.
I've been thinking so much about Lucy's birth mother today and know that she, too, must be marking the day. I can't imagine - I wish she could know that she's landed in a home with lots of love and we'll always do our best to make her happy. As Lucy gets older it would be nice to honor her birth mother on her birthday and all that she went through to make sure that Lucy was cared for and safe. She chose the specific orphanage as she was placed at a park's entrance adjacent to her SWI. (Most of the kids abandoned these days are from the countryside and there are two orphanages in Maoming. The birth families usually come to the cities early in the morning and knowing the orphanage where they want their babies to be raised, place them in a public place before they can be seen.) She pinned her birthdate to her clothes and probably watched from afar to make sure that she was found.
Happy third birthday, Lucy! What a treasure you are for us all!
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