Extended Family

Before I had kids, I never considered the richness that babysitters would bring to my family’s life. Living far from family, it can become a very insulated family life. I worry about my kids growing up believing that the circle of people who love them is very small. My children are so lucky to have an ever-widening circle of people who love them. When It was just Lorna, we could get away with babysitting swaps and the occasional sitter in the evening. Then we brought our favorite sitter, Jessie, with us when we took a trip to the Caribbean with 4 month-old Kai. She happily spent hours with Lorna in the pool and allowed Will and myself to actually spend some time together and Kai to have quiet nap time. But mostly, she is such a wonderful person and could add much to Lorna’s world. I started feeling more comfortable having more childcare help in my world.I also have “issues” with employing help. I now have three children, run two rental properties and have a husband who works long hours and travels a lot. But somehow I feel like I should be able to do it all. I also feel self-conscious that we can afford it.

Then we met Melanie, who first started coming when I was pregnant with Kai, then one afternoon a week for Mommy to have alone time. She and Lorna had so much fun together doing things that don’t come as naturally to me – coloring Disney princesses, painting fingernails, etc. She came on some trips with us and helped Will and I have more time together. Melanie lived with us when she was between living situations and we all adore her. Melanie and I really bonded during our car trip from Boulder to Tahoe. I think instead of “Queer Eye for the Straight Guy”, there should also be hip college student for the stay at home mom. She helped me get on facebook, even told me that it was “cute” that people my age did facebook, introduced me to new music and the latest fashion trends. Melanie just left for the Peace Corps in the Ukraine, and although I miss her dearly I am so glad to read about her grand adventures and know that she will always be in our lives.

And now we have Kelsey who has also been adopted as a family member. She was sitting for us 2 afternoons a week when we decided to adopt Lucy. When we didn’t know if we were facing a summer of medical appointments, decided that we would ask Kelsey to start full-time with us for the summer. She also helps me with the management of the rentals. Now she’s with us for 24 hours a week and I’m not sure what I’d do without her. Yesterday, Lorna and I came home from the park and Kelsey had “fancy nancy hair salon” remnants in her dreadlocks and had the kids fingerpainting outside. Sometimes she does yoga with them or plays her banjo. She’s even teaching Lorna to play the violin!

Now I know that babysitters can enhance all of our lives. It was the control-freak in me that resisted having more help. All of us love Kelsey and I am a better mom to my kids for having a breather and sitting in a coffee shop with a latte and laptop, like right now. Will and I are a stronger couple because we can finish a conversation and have some experiences that don’t involve the kids. I can have one – on-one time with each kid and we all are better people for having known these great young women. Next fall, Lucy and Kai will have preschool three mornings a week and Lorna will be in school until 3, so again, it’s a short time to have this luxury.