philosophical about 40

I’m turning 40 in less than a month and my January resolution was to sign up for and run a marathon in my 40th year. When we accepted Lucy’s referral in February, that plan went out the window.

When most people hear that I was a Peace Corps volunteer, they are impressed and it starts conversations, gets you into graduate schools of choice. The implication here is that it was hard work and demonstrates courage and commitment. But when I returned and started working as a public school teacher, I felt this was more of the trenches than being a PCV ever was. The hours are longer, the pay, in comparison to cost of living, is lower, and there’s no VIP status. And THEN, I became a stay-at-home-mom. This is hard work – I know I chose it and I’m not afraid of hard work – but this makes the Peace Corps look like Club Med.

A typical morning, wake up late with a daughter on each side of me. How did Lorna get in my bed? When did Lucy actually fall asleep? Realize it was not a dream about being suspended in the top of a coconut tree but actually Lorna’s feet on my back. Realize I need to get three kids up, fed, dressed and out the door in 1 hour. Shades up, whining children, cereal, vitamins, ponytail for me, finesse a wrinkled-sock-impending-tantrum, stop Pug from darting out the door with left foot, while holding one child and a cup of coffee.

And when I get them all in the car, with clean diapers, sippy cups and snacks, I look around for applause because this is my greatest feat - not to lose my cool, even do it all with love, smiles and sometimes even a song... and relatively clean clothes. For me (and I know this is such a personal thing for women) this is so much more than Peace Corps, fancy grad school, or meditation retreats – maybe it’s all of those things rolled up into one. And, I’ve been in rooms with people with interesting worldly careers and artsy lives and felt as though I have nothing to contribute. My world is so small. You can fit it all into one family. It’s also temporary. While it lasts there’s so much to explore and enjoy in this tiny little world, so many ways to grow through being with my children and all their ups and downs. Who needs a marathon?